The Journey Inward: Reflecting On Birds Of A Feather Flocking Together | Church
Are you old enough to bear in mind the Arm and Hammer Baking Soda bird cards?
I liked these cards. I was only about 7 decades previous with couple of toys so, these cards meant a whole lot to me. I predicted their arrival in the soda box considerably as I did as a teenager when I unwrapped Topps bubble-gum baseball cards.
I preferred the hues of the Scarlet Tanagers, Orioles and Goldfinches. Add Cardinals on that list. Some birds appeared odd and weird wanting. I did not like them.
Why my fascination with chicken cards?
My grandmother Campbell gave me the playing cards about the time my father remaining for fantastic. My intuition indicates I was hoping to uncover a thing of me in the cards. I felt like a unusual chicken without a father.
For quite a few many years I felt my father remaining for the reason that there was a thing mistaken with me. In a child’s mind why would a father go away? Was I remaining way too delicate or angry when he hurt me, or concerned? I wasn’t boy more than enough? A boy or girl can draw all sorts of magical conclusions.
Just a strange bird, I guess! No question I did not like some of the birds. Weren’t they just like me?
More than the system of my everyday living, I have learned that I did not like individuals areas of me that were unacceptable to older people, particularly thoughts. Those feelings stirred up far too considerably of their possess trauma. Of training course, there are other motives. You possibly get the photograph, even though?
The outcomes of a challenging childhood are manifold. A ton of us with comparable conditions relied on survival features to defend us from harm. Alternatively than getting supported for our abilities and our distinctive methods of learning we grew to become people today pleasers, caretakers, scared of authority, around liable, shy, awkward in public. You title it. We experienced to endure.
In our disgrace we felt isolated as if we were an odd duck in a globe of socially modified folks. We cowered absent from how we were hurt as if that was a cardinal sin.
That is, until we achieved other individuals who know our language. They are strange birds just like us.
As a therapist a person of my fantastic joys is staying with individuals who come to be aware of their outdated survival characteristics and want to come across areas of on their own, they experienced to bury: their authority, their feelings and presents, for example.
Persons want to sense protected. They want other folks to realize the character of their expertise and to experience that it is true, important, and meaningful.
They want to be their possess authority, say “No,” set boundaries, come across release from becoming a caretaker and be extremely accountable for the welfare of many others.
Doing the job by means of my very own suffering from childhood, I now knowledge a great deal of contentment and gratification. I know, having said that, that underneath worry the outdated “strange bird” traits can arise once more but, now with a lot less impact. I get in touch with that the “flow of life” with some pleasure, some discomfort.
Finally “birds of a feather who flock together” offer help on our journey toward wholeness. We are not so weird immediately after all. We had been just created to truly feel that way.
Dr John Campbell is a psychotherapist and non secular seeker residing in Brevard.
