We’re Off to See the Lizard, by Tracy Beckerman

When I went to pay a visit to my folks in Florida last winter, I was seeking ahead to the warm temperature and sunshine. Unfortunately, Florida was obtaining an abnormal cold snap just as I was arriving. So, not only didn’t I get any beach time, but I also had to look at out for …

“Falling iguanas,” said my father, on the lookout up into the trees.

“Justification me?” I replied.

“When it receives chilly like this, especially at night time, the iguanas freeze and fall out of the trees.”

“Are they lifeless?” I requested, searching around the garden for evidence of useless, frozen iguanas.

“No,” he mentioned. “As soon as they warm up, they revive and then they go back into the trees.”

I was dumbfounded. In all my visits to my parents about the yrs, I’d under no circumstances read about frozen iguanas. I puzzled how weighty a frozen iguana was. Could it knock you out? Would you have to go to the clinic and convey to absolutely everyone you experienced a concussion mainly because you bought hit by a frozen iguana?

I am rather absolutely sure which is how folks finish up in the psych ward.

In the meantime, I seriously had no idea how huge an iguana was, so I appeared it up on the internet and was stunned to see they had been massive. Like, Godzilla big. Ok, not that major. But surely even larger than the bearded dragon my son experienced when he was expanding up, which was practically the sizing of a compact little one.

I recognized I was not just heading to have to have sunscreen during my visit. I would also want a tough hat.

“Do you have any added fits of armor lying all around?” I requested my parents. “Or probably an ‘Iron Man’ fit?”

They shook their heads.

As we headed outside the house to go to meal that evening, I included my head with my arms and ran straight for the auto. My moms and dads looked at me, puzzled.

“What are you performing?” my mom asked.

“I am guarding myself from frozen iguanas falling out of the trees.”

“Oh, you really don’t have to fear about that tonight,” she mentioned.

“Why?”

“We failed to get any frozen iguana alerts.”

“They give you ALERTS for that?” I explained incredulously.

“Of course. On the information.”

Odd as that piece of information was, I suppose it was excellent to have progress warning of an impending frozen iguana deluge. My folks received frost advisories, hurricane warnings and notifications when their favourite Italian cafe was obtaining a two-for-a person early bird particular. Why not slipping iguana alerts?

Like most grownup young children who don’t are living around their moms and dads, I get worried about my people when I really don’t see them. Now there was something else to be anxious about. Then I experienced an idea. A good deal of individuals in my parents’ group experienced a single of all those Daily life Inform buttons that they could press if they fell and required aid. I questioned if I could get my mother and father a button that they could press if they obtained hit by a slipping iguana.

It could actually provide a dual function.

They could use it if they tripped around a frozen alligator, too.

Tracy Beckerman is the writer of the Amazon Bestseller, “Barking at the Moon: A Story of Everyday living, Love, and Kibble,” readily available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble on the net! You can stop by her at www.tracybeckerman.com

Image credit score: 12019 at Pixabay