Will Feral Cats Win New York Metropolis’s Battle on Rats?

New Yorkers, the faintest sliver of a crimson crescent is rising over the horizon, like a solar waking up from our looming nightmare. On Wednesday, former Republican mayoral candidate and perpetual crimson beret-wearer Curtis Sliwa parked himself in entrance of Mayor Eric Adams’ Brooklyn condominium and supplied an answer to the town’s horrendous rat infestation: feral cat colonies.

“That is what me and my spouse are specialists in,” Sliwa advised a reporter whereas gesturing to his cats. “Go away it to the Sliwas.”

Joined by his spouse and fellow Guardian Angel, Nancy Regula, and two of their 16 cats, Tiny and Thor, Sliwa introduced that feral cat colonies have been one of the best ways to win the metropolis’s conflict towards rats, a conflict that has ramped up in current months—a conflict that’s private to Mayor Adams, whose Brooklyn condominium (actual ones know that this condominium is definitely his son’s condominium and that the mayor lives in Fort Lee, NJ, however that’s neither right here nor there) has been ticketed a number of instances by the town for rat infestation. “He’s pissed off as a result of he has tried all the things to treatment the state of affairs,” a press release from Sliwa learn. “Every part besides Feral Cats.”

Some New York Metropolis residents strongly disagree with this answer.

“My stance is that I would like Curtis Sliwa not launch a lot of feral cats,” Alise Morales, my pal and close by neighbor of Mayor Adams, texted me this morning, upon studying of Sliwa’s plan for her block. Too unhealthy, Alise. It’s cat metropolis now.

“Rats don’t run this metropolis, we do,” NYC Sanitation head Jessica Tisch declared this previous fall. Town posted a job itemizing for a Rat Mitigator, a 24/7 place geared toward decimating the town’s rat inhabitants by “enhancing operational effectivity, knowledge assortment, expertise innovation, trash administration, and wholesale slaughter.” As brutal as that description sounds, the town is in determined want of somebody to avoid wasting us from this rat-tastrophe.

Enter Sliwa, who has turned down the $170,000 a 12 months wage, saying that he’ll do the work free of charge. He’s, he claimed, frequently patrolling the streets of NYC from 10 pm to 4 am, which is when the rats roam. “I’ll be the Rat Czar at night time,” he stated.

Early within the press convention, a reporter requested Sliwa’s ideas on the truth that research have proven that feral cats aren’t efficient in decreasing rat populations. Curtis responded confidently, although not likely answering the query, “Keep in mind, they don’t eat the rats, they only kill the rats. They’re predatorial.”

“The cats which are nocturnal are up, patrolling up and down” the block, Sliwa promised the gang.

At one level throughout the press convention, a person on the road began chanting, “LESS RATS, MORE CATS,” and Sliwa went over and hugged him. A plant? A fan? Possibly simply the one wise man on this metropolis… (Editor’s word: It’s “fewer” rats, not “much less,” for fuck’s sake.)

All through the occasion, Sliwa saved mentioning that the most typical managers of feral cat colonies are ladies aged 55+, however that each one sorts of individuals, “hipsters, millennials, Black, white, hispanic, Asian,” have managed feral cat colonies. Appears like some neoliberal variety rebrand of neocon values, for those who ask me.

Whereas I’m usually hesitant to fund elevated surveillance of any form, I’m admittedly serious about studying extra about this feline policing answer. However greater than that, I’m serious about watching Curtis Sliwa proceed to have bonkers press conferences any time he desires. I’m able to undergo my feral cat overlords.